Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
