why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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