normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
