what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
