yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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