We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
