That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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