I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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