he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
