And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
