mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
