Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
