In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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