Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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