dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
