I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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