I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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