is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
