I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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