You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
