She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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