He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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