whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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