i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
