When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
