I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
