in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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