Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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