I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
