what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
