She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
