Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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