we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
