I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
