I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
