Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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