You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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