I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
