you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
