But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
