Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
