Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
