is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
