How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
