her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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