I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
