You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
