Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
