i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
