he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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